How to Know When a Relationship is Over
A new relationship feels nothing short of magical. It’s full of novelty, romance, and passion. You’re blissfully in love with your soulmate. Once that honeymoon period ends, however, it’s common for a relationship to lose steam.
While it’s completely normal for couples to encounter tough times, it’s important to know when to call it off if your relationship has remained static. For long-term relationships, especially, this can be a hard decision to make. When you’ve been together for a long time, the familiarity and comfort of your relationship can make a break up appear daunting.
Here are eight signs that reveal when a relationship is truly over:
Their Habits Annoy You
In the beginning, you might have enjoyed your partner’s quirks. Maybe, you found their nail-biting or finger tapping cute and endearing. Fast forward a few months later, and those minor habits may seem irritating. Although you might feel compelled to snap at your partner, your annoyance might indicate something within your rather than merely your partner’s behavior.
According to relationship counselor Degges-White,
if you find that you’re irritated by your partner just because you’re in the same room, and you don’t like the way your partner is crunching ice, wearing their clothes, using their fingers to eat their meal, etc., it’s not necessarily your partner that’s the issue - it’s more likely something that is going on inside you that might need some exploration.
Essentially, we are more likely to release our anger and frustration on a partner’s minor habits when we’re actually upset by something else entirely. This makes it important to do some soul-searching to get to the root of your emotions.
If there’s a deeper relationship issue involved that is causing conflict, then you should address it openly with your partner to see if the problem can be resolved. Otherwise, it may be best to part ways.
Increasing Arguments
All couples argue. In fact, it’s healthy to use a disagreement for change and growth within a relationship. However, if you and your partner fail to see eye to eye on anything, then this might be a red flag.
Conflict happens in every relationship, but if neither you nor your partner is using the conflict as a motivator to change your behaviors to enrich the connection and the relationship, then that’s not a good use of differences in opinion,
says Degges-White.
Disagreements can only provide value if the relationship is positively changing as a result. So, if you and your partner are constantly fighting simply because everything they do irritates you or is “wrong,” then you should cut ties.
No Emotional Intimacy
One of the biggest signs that a relationship isn’t working anymore is when you no longer feel like you can be vulnerable with your partner. Health and wellness coach Caleb Backe says,
emotional intimacy is ultimately the glue that holds a relationship together after the initial excitement fizzles. Couples who are emotionally intimate can overcome conflict more easily because they understand each other better and are able to communicate their feelings to each other.
A healthy relationship depends on trust and communication of each other’s thoughts and feelings. So, if you don’t feel comfortable opening up to your partner and establishing an emotional connection, then you and your partner might have trouble overcoming the hurdles of life together.
No Physical Intimacy
It's normal for couples to lose the sexual passion that once existed during the earlier stages of their relationship. After all, the honeymoon phase doesn’t last forever. Degges-White believes that once the passion fades, a more comforting friendship takes its place. As long as you still enjoy the thought of being intimate with your partner, then this is a good sign.
On the other hand, if the mere thought of being close or touching your partner causes you to recoil in disgust, then this may be a sign that a breakup is near.
While sex is never the glue that makes a relationship a long-term success, if you can no longer take any pleasure in even a memory of sexual satisfaction with your partner or feel a hint of desire to be with your partner in an intimate manner, something is definitely amiss
says Degges-White.
You Don’t Trust Your Partner
Another sign of a failing relationship is the inability to trust your partner. Whether this is due to infidelity, betrayal, or constant lies, the outcome is all the same. The harm caused by such events is difficult to resolve.
Without trust, it can be nearly impossible to work together with your partner. Not only that, but it also prevents you from building a healthy and meaningful connection with each other.
Cheating in a relationship is always damaging. There are many factors that come into play when deciding if it's time to call it quits, but it all comes down to whether you can rebuild the trust,
says relationship expert Rachel DeAlto. "If you cannot forgive and trust them again, it's better to walk away.”
Of course, no one is perfect. If your partner is trying their best to make things right, then it’s important to take notice of their effort. However, if they refuse to change and continue to break your trust, then you should call it quits.
Misaligned Goals
When a couple has different plans for the future, they’re inevitably going to run into problems. For example, if one partner wants a family and the other would prefer to focus on their career, then the relationship is bound to suffer.
According to sex and intimacy coach Irene Fehr,
relationships are as much about enjoying each other in the present as they are about creating a future together. We all have dreams for ourselves and for the relationship, and these dreams determine serious and important decisions in the present.
If neither partner plans to sacrifice their goals for the sake of the relationship, then it would be a waste of time to prolong their time together.
It’s Not Going Anywhere
Healthy relationships require change and growth. However, if you feel like your relationship has remained static, then this raises a red flag.
Degges-White says,
Waiting for some things make sense - education, career paths, family obligation, these types of things can definitely take priority over a relationship if the circumstances surrounding these changes warrant it. But if your partner is using these external events as ‘reasons’ for not committing, then you’ll begin to notice a pattern when the external events keep changing or lengthening.
It’s normal for a relationship to take a backseat to other important life events. But you should be wary if your partner continues to ignore your needs after these obligations have ended.
Conclusion
All couples experience their fair share of ups and downs in a relationship. This behavior is normal and healthy. Without conflict, a relationship would be unable to grow and improve.
But if you and your partner display any of these signs, something might be off in your relationship. Have an open and honest discussion with them to see if you can fix these problems. If not, then it might be time to throw in the towel and go your separate ways.
