16 Best Songs About Toxic Relationships
Love should not hurt, so turn up the volume and sing your heart out!
Time has shown us, there are countless songs written about toxic relationships. It spans every decade and every genre. Sadly, toxicity in love is an occurrence many people have witnessed.
A lot of those songs are about how hard it is to remove someone from your life despite it being toxic to one or both of you.
Let’s figure out what toxic relationships look like, and then we’ll get to the musical wisdom.
How To Recognize Toxic Relationships
It’s not all about romance. Toxicity hides out in friends and family relations too!
Domestic violence is the most extreme example of a toxic relationship. It involves one partner abusing the other. The abuse could be physical, verbal or both.
Not all toxic relationships involve violence, but they’re still damaging.
If you feel worse, rather than better, when you’re around them- it’s probably toxic.
There are other, more subtle signs, pointing you away from the relationship to a healthier alternative.
Toxic Signs:
- You’re the giver in the relationship, all the time, and your partner is the taker, all the time.
- You’re not getting support for the things that are important to you.
- You feel disrespected.
- The other person brings out the things you dislike most about yourself. It could be heavy drinking, being lazy and unproductive, or talking behind friends’ backs.
- You are always to blame.
- You’re constantly accused of being too sensitive or even crazy. This has a name, gaslighting.
No one should have to live with these feelings from the person who is supposed to love them. Whether it’s a best friend, family member, or romantic partner.
Being in a toxic relationship lowers your self-esteem.
So if you know you’re in a bad relationship but feel you’ll never be able to do any better read this over and over:
Thinking you don’t deserve better is a lie, you are enough, you deserve to be happy.
Maybe write that, or a different self-affirming note to yourself on a Post-It note where you’ll see it several times a day.
Toxic Relationship Stories Set to Music
When you listen to these songs it becomes crystal clear, staying in a toxic relationship is not an option. For your health and sanity, you need to go.
Before Britney Spears fought her father for conservatorship, she was making music about toxic relationships.
1. Toxic by Britney Spears
“Baby, can't you see I'm calling?
A guy like you should wear a warning
It's dangerous, I'm falling
There's no escape, I can't wait
I need a hit, baby, give me it
You're dangerous, I'm loving it”
John Cougar Mellencamp admits something’s not right in “Hurts So Good” but sings there’s still some pleasure in the pain.
2. Hurts So Good by John Cougar Mellencamp
“Sink your teeth right through my bones, baby
Let's see what we can do
Come on and make it, uh
Hurts so good
Come on baby, make it hurt so good
Sometimes love don't feel like it should
You make it hurt so good”
“Irresistible” is about a couple in a bad relationship that neither one seems to want to end even though it is clearly unhealthy.
3. Irresistible by Fall Out Boy feat Demi Lovato
“All of your flaws are aligned with this mood of mine
Cutting me to the bone, nothing left to leave behind
You ought to keep me concealed just like I was a weapon
I didn't come for a fight but I will fight 'till the ending …
And I love the way you hurt me
It's irresistible, yeah”
Feeling Bitter About the End of a Toxic Relationship
In “Somebody That I Used to Know” through the lens of a toxic relationship the singer has decided love is supposed to be lonely and sad. It is not. But change, even for the better, is hard.
4. Somebody That I Used to Know by Gotye feat Kimbra
“I told myself that you were right for me
But felt so lonely in your company
But that was love, and it's an ache I still remember…
You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness
Like resignation to the end, always the end.”
Naming What Makes it Toxic
When you can’t quite put your finger on what toxic looks like in your own relationship, turn to these songs. These artists name it very directly.
In the music video for “Hot N Cold” the couple are in the church, surrounded by loved ones about to be married when the fiance hesitates, yet again.
5. Hot N Cold Katy Perry
“And you overthink, always speak cryptically
I should know that you're no good for me …
You're wrong when it's right
It's black, and it's white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up”
Bon Jovi understands what the pain of being in a bad relationship feels like. The singer very directly calls out his girlfriend in “You Give Love a Bad Name”.
6. You Give Love A Bad Name by Bon Jovi
“Shot through the heart and you're to blame
Darlin', you give love a bad name
An angel's smile is what you sell
You promised me heaven, then put me through hell
Chains of love got a hold on me
When passion's a prison, you can't break free”
Calling Out Toxic Behavior
These singers use their lyrics to BURN the person whose toxicity ended the relationship. There’s nothing subtle, here.Swifty’s (fans of Taylor swift) know her song “Bad Blood” was about a falling out with a platonic girlfriend. Remember a toxic relationship isn’t necessarily a romantic one. It could be a close friend or family member.
7. Bad Blood by Taylor Swift
“You forgive, you forget, but you never let it go
Band-Aids don't fix bullet holes
You say sorry just for show
If you live like that, you live with ghosts
If you love like that, blood runs cold”
Skillet gets right down to the heart of the matter from the first lyric in this song and we love it!
8. It’s Not Me It’s You by Skillet
“Let's get the story straight
You were a poison
You flooded through my veins
You left me broken
You tried to make me think
That the blame was all on me
With the pain, you put me through
And now I know that it's not me, it's you”
“Hotter Than Hell” is the story of a real-life toxic relationship the singer was in. One she said eventually made her feel worthless. She turns the tables through the song lyrics to give herself back the power, as though she was in charge all along.
9. Hotter Than Hell by Dua Lipa
“You probably still adore me
With my hands around your neck …
You ain't gonna walk free, boy
Not finished with you yet, no”
Toxic Relationsips Involving Domestic Violence
TW // domestic violence
It doesn’t get much more raw than “Love the Way You Lie”. The song lyrics are a spot-on depiction of the cycle of violence in an abusive relationship. The rapper admits his apologies are only lies and there’s more violence to come. His girlfriend has a tragic refrain about how it’s ok and she even likes it. She doesn’t like it, she just doen’t see any other way to live.
10. Love the Way You Lie by Eminem feat Rihana
“I apologize even though I know it's lies
I'm tired of the games, I just want her back, I know I'm a liar
If she ever tries to f***** leave again
I'm a tie her to the bed and set this house on fire.
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that's alright, because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that's alright, because I love the way you lie”
Many believe Rhianna wrote “Love on the Brain” about her own experience with domestic violence.
11. Love on the Brain by Rhianna
“Baby you got me like oh
You love when I fall apart
So you can put me together
And throw me against the wall”
In “Don’t You Want Me” a couple goes back and forth, she’s trying to leave while he keeps up the pressure by throwing around threats in hopes of grabbing control back.
12. Don’t You Want Me by The Human League
“Success has been so easy for you
But don't forget it's me who put you where you are now
And I can put you back down too ….
You know I don't believe you when you say that you don't need me …
It's much too late to find
When you think you've changed your mind
You'd better change it back or we will both be sorry”
Revenge Lyrics
TW // domestic violence
It can be satisfying to imagine getting revenge on someone who has harmed you. It’s even more satisfying when you turn the volume up on these songs and sing along. Plus, singing about it won’t get you in any trouble.
In “Blown Away” the singer tells the story of her abusive father, and how she uses some deadly Oklahoma weather to finally settle the score and wash away every toxic trace.
13. Blown Away by Carrie Underwood
“She heard those sirens screamin' out
Her daddy laid there, passed out on the couch
She locked herself in the cellar
Listened to the screaming of the wind
Some people called it taking shelter
She called it sweet revenge
Shatter every window 'til it's all blown away
Every brick, every board, every slamming door blown away
'Til there's nothing left standing, nothing left of yesterday
Every tear-soaked whiskey memory blown away
Blown away”
“Gunpowder and Lead” is about a woman who has had enough and she’s not going to take it anymore. She sings these lyrics just minutes before they guy is set to get home from jail. He was put in ther for beating her up, again.
14. Gunpowder and Lead by Miranda Lambert
“I'm goin' home, gonna load my shotgun
Wait by the door and light a cigarette
He wants a fight well now he's got one
And he ain't seen me crazy yet
Slapped my face and he shook me like a rag doll
Don't that sound like a real man
I'm gonna show him what little girls are made of
Gunpowder and lead”
Vowing to End a Toxic Relationship… After One Last Time in Bed
Sometimes it’s hard to get our bodies to go along with what our brains know the difference between good and bad. Even knowing there will be regrets “Tomorrow”.
15. Tomorrow by Chris Young
“But tonight I'm gonna give in one last time,
rock you strong in these arms of mine,
forget all the regrets that are bound to follow.
We're like fire & gasoline,
I'm no good for you,
you're no good for me,
we only bring each other tears & sorrow.
But tonight, I'm gonna love you like there's no tomorrow.”
You can sing and dance it out hard to “One More Night”. The singer knows he’s equally to blame as his partner for the toxic relationship they’ve built. Despite the guilt he wants to be with her, again, and vows to go for good right after that.
16. One More Night by Maroon 5
“You and I go hard
At each other, like we're going to war
You and I go rough
We keep throwing things and slamming the doors
You and I get so damn dysfunctional we stop keeping score
You and I get sick
Yeah, I know that we can't do this no more, yeah
But baby there you go again, there you go again making me love you
Yeah, I stopped using my head, using my head
Let it all go
Got you stuck on my body, on my body like a tattoo
And now I'm feeling stupid, feeling stupid crawling back to you”
Final Thoughts
Music expresses for us things we can’t put into words. It can be a safe outlet for upset feelings. Songs that speak to you can be used to turn the focus back on yourself and your own well-being.
Tell us in the comments your favorite songs from this list or add to our list. If you’ve been in a toxic relationship please share how you got out. And if you think someone else needs to see this, please share it around.
Remember, if a certain person makes you feel drained of your energy and happiness, you’re being poisoned by a toxic relationship and it’s time to get on with the business of closing that door. Your better life is on the other side.
Help is Available
If you’re living in an abusive relationship here’s how to get help:
Contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline for confidential assistance from trained advocates by calling 1-800-799-7233
