10 Ways to Get Over a Breakup Like a Grown Woman
Breakups are already a major blow to your ego. Your impulse may be to dig your keys into the side of his four-wheel-drive a la Carrie Underwood. But, the repercussions of that may last longer than your actual relationship. These 10 tips will have you moving on with grace and keep your dignity intact.
1. Leave Your Ex's Social Media Alone
It may seem like perusing your ex’s Facebook wouldn’t be that harmful. This can spiral into cyberstalking. Who is that woman sitting next to him at the coffee shop? Why does he seem so happy already? You can’t help but play the comparison game.
The problem is that Facebook, and social media, in general, are already addictive. Add to this emotional and mental upset and you have a recipe for unmitigated stalking. With the anonymity from a computer, you could almost see each part of your ex’s day… without him knowing.
This may be comforting to you. But, this will actually slow down the process of getting through your breakup. You will actually miss your partner for a longer time as well as feel more negatively toward him. What’s worse is that while having these feelings, you will also desire your ex more. This oftentimes leads to unwanted sex.
Some women are able to browse through Instagram without much stalking. If you are prone to anxiety or any mood disorders, hit delete. Unfriend and unfollow your ex to avoid slipping into a deeper state of anxiety or depression.
2. Find Your Closest Friend For Support
Now that you have detoxed from social media, consider substituting it for some one-on-one friend time. While you are going through the different stages of getting over your ex, rely on your friend for support. You won’t feel so alone. If you’re used to doing everything with your ex, now is the time to reconnect with a friend and fill that void.
The mere presence of your friend while you work through breakup heartache, will help you to better cope. Your confidence will get a boost while your cortisol levels free fall. Bonus points if you have a friend that is empathetic. Another if she will listen while you rehash what went wrong ten times a day.
Discover new local restaurants or shops with your friend. Hold on to these new memories and experiences. They will give you something positive to remember when you’re back home alone. You will also get into the habit of rebuilding your new life. Plus a little distraction never hurt.
3. Journal and Reflect on the Positives
The bullet journal trend has caught on and with good reason. Journaling your feelings gives you an outlet for expression. Instead of writing hate poems for your ex, try listing the positive sides to your breakup. Did you jump off the train right before a complete train wreck? Is there a new strength you’ve discovered in yourself?
By focusing on the positives, and jotting these down, you can actually start to feel better and more empowered. Take time to rebuild a sense of who you are independent of your relationship. Your life used to be entangled with another person. Through journaling, you can improve your “self-concept” and feel less lonely.
If you don’t know where to begin, start with a few journal prompts. Find a few prompts that you feel you need to work through, or don’t know the answer yet. For example, how did your ex make you a better person?
Stay away from only writing all the difficult things about your ex-partner. Don’t recount every sin he has committed. If you tune your attention to only these, you could harm your mental health as opposed to helping it.
4. Eat Nourishing Foods
To get over this breakup in a mature way, don’t follow that breakup trope where the woman emotionally eats to cope. Instead, double down on healthy eating. Use your food as your medicine. Try eating specific foods that reduce cortisol levels.
Cortisol is a hormone your body releases when under stress. It gives you that flight or fight feeling. Lower cortisol levels help you to feel calmer and think clearer.
Swap your ice cream for dark chocolate. You’ll get your sweetness kick and all the stress-reducing benefits from this choice. Add some bananas and pears to your morning smoothie. You will start your day more emotionally balanced. Incorporate yogurt into your lunch or afternoon snack. Maybe swap your cup of coffee for green or black tea.
5. Take That Exercise Class You Didn't Have Time For
The last thing you feel like doing after a breakup is getting up to work out. It might be hard to motivate yourself at first, but remember you’re working out solo. Now is a great time to try a new workout or fitness class. You’ll get your endorphins flowing and immediately feel better.
Bhakti yoga classes focus on opening up the hips, where you tend to store a lot of your stress. Join a class and let go of that extra stress. It will also help you to be present in the moment and not stuck in the breakup mind loop.
Try a pole dancing class. Post-breakup blues can leave you feeling a little less sexy than usual. Do the grown-up thing and boost your confidence by learning this new dance style. Soon you’ll have a new set of skills to impress your future partner.
The simplest workout to pick is running. Running on your own will help to clear your mind and bring you into the present moment, like yoga. If you’re not very flexible or just need some immediate peace, just run.
6. Allow Yourself To Feel Healthy Anger
Right now you may be feeling 50 shades of rage… and that’s ok. You can’t escape your anger. Instead of trying to run from it, just sit and feel your anger in the moment. It’s important that you are able to feel this emotion so you can properly cope with it and move on. Anger allows you to understand who is to blame.
Focus your anger on the actual breakup itself. If you direct anger towards your ex, it doesn’t help you move on any easier. Anger directed at yourself is destructive also. There isn’t a need to be angry at yourself for not trying enough or hurting your ex. Work through your anger and aim it at the situation itself.
Lean on your close friend and vent. Talk about all the things that upset you to get it off your chest. While this may seem obvious at first, if overlooked it may be much harder to get over your ex. At the beginning of a breakup women initially feel more emotional pain. As time passes, they are able to more fully recover because they confide in others about their pain.
7. Forgive Yourself
After you let yourself feel anger and work through it, it’s time to forgive. It sounds easy but it will take a lot of effort on your part. To gracefully move on, you have to let go and love yourself. Acknowledge the mistakes you have made that contributed to the breakup. Let go of the guilt. Remember that by acknowledging your mistakes, you are learning and growing.
Have compassion for yourself. You did the best at the time with the mindset and beliefs you had. If those beliefs are not working for you, then let them go. Don’t ruminate, don’t blame. Live your life differently now with your new set of beliefs. This is the redemption you are looking for.
8. Get a Dog
If your apartment is feeling empty without your ex, instead of rushing to fill it with a rebound, get a dog. You can channel your love and attention into your new puppy. This may seem like an odd time to get a dog. Little Fido may actually help you to get over your breakup better than your friend. Your dog has stress lowering superpowers. He will help to reduce your heart rate while you tread the unknown.
Dogs are the perfect distraction you need at this moment. If you find yourself thinking about your ex, a new dog will help to fill that void.
Dogs push you to go outside more and explore. While you take your dog on walks around the neighborhood, you will start to develop new habits that will form part of your independent life.
9. Take a Hike, Literally
With your new dog in tow, get out into nature. Immerse yourself in mother nature to reduce your post-breakup anxiety. The beautiful outdoors soothes any lingering feelings of anger. Find a scenic local park or a trail to incorporate into your routine. Your walk doesn’t have to be long. Just make sure you are consistently getting out to reap the benefits.
Spending time outdoors improves your mental state by lowering your fear and anxiety. There are many ways to achieve this. Simply walking outside is the easiest and most accessible. Walking or hiking allows you to be in the moment. It's like a moving meditation.
Your human mind naturally focuses on the interesting details of nature. This shift allows your overactive mind to rest and brings you into the present. Walking in nature will ease your muscle tension. If your shoulders are in knots from your emotions, this is good news. This is truly the grown-up way to get over a breakup.
10. Biohack Your Way to Happiness
Instead of alcohol and ice cream try nootropics. Nootropics are supplements that enhance your cognitive function. They can be a safe, healthier alternative when you feel like you need a drink. You can help sleepless nights with the addition of N-Acetyl Cysteine. This nootropic will also lift your mood and help with mindfulness.
Grape Seed Extract can help with your anxiety and moods. These nootropics help to fill in the gaps in your nutrition as well as give you a temporary boost. To get the best benefits, incorporate them into your post-breakup wellness routine. Elevate your self-care. You will feel calm, focused, and well-rested. There won’t be a chance of any embarrassing post-breakup revenge faux pas.
Nootropics will boost your efforts in emotional work. But they are not a substitute for maintaining a healthy post-breakup lifestyle.
If you follow these suggestions you'll emerge from this breakup as a reinvented (grown) woman. Leave a comment about which tip was your favorite and if you have a post-breakup tip you swear by. If you loved this article or know someone who could use it, please share it!
