Are You Worried Your Husband Doesn’t Love You Anymore?
Worried your husband has fallen out of love with you? Look for these signs to find out.
It’s happened. Your marriage has lost the spark it had from when you were first together. But has your husband really fallen out of love with you? It can be tough to know for sure.
We’re here to help, and we’ve compiled a list of all the signs for possible love lockdown as well as the steps you should take if it happens to you.
10 Signs Your Husband Has Fallen Out of Love
1. He Makes Plans Without You
First, there was the ski trip with his ‘bros’ and now he’s got dinner plans every night of the week that don’t involve you. Should you be concerned?
Definitely.
He’s your husband, which means he should want to make plans with you. While it is okay for him to make occasional plans with his friends, like the ski trip, being absent physically and mentally isn’t a good sign.
According to Psychology Today, once a man begins to routinely make plans without you, without checking in, he has fallen out of love with you.
2. He Doesn't Seem to Want to Talk to You Anymore
When you’ve been with a man a long time, you eventually learn everything about each other. This can make topics for conversations run low.
Although you may have run low on subjects, your husband should still ask how your day went. Then, he should listen to the answer.
Additionally, if a problem arises, either in your personal life or between you two, he should want to discuss it. If he is constantly shutting you out, or avoiding you, this is not a good sign.
Note: Talking about your kids doesn't count as really talking, you should be discussing you, or each other, in private on a regular basis.
3. He's No Longer Affectionate With You
Men are physical creatures and they act in relation to how they feel. When a man is smitten, you’ll be able to tell. The distance in pulling back physically, and the lack of physical touch that you’re used to can trigger alarm bells in your head.
Affection drops off quickly as love fades out.
In every relationship, affection shows itself differently. It can look like:
- Hugging and kissing
- Supporting touches
- Love reassurances
- Initiating sexual advances
4. He Never Considers Your Feelings
Remember when your husband used to ask how things made you feel before he did them? He would ask about a boy's weekend before he booked it. That is no longer the case.
Now he does things without asking, and then acts surprised when he finds out his actions had an effect on you. This blatant disregard shows that he no longer cares about your opinions on things.
People care about the opinions of the people they love. If he no longer cares about your opinion…well you know he doesn’t feel the same way as he did before.
5. He Only Thinks of Himself
Sadly, love is the bonding glue that holds the best relationships together. It makes people consider others’ feelings, concerns, and desires. It loses its appeal when your partner only thinks about themselves. You’ll have yourself wondering why you even rely on this person in the first place.
If you approach him with something you are upset about, he will only talk about how that makes him feel. Or if you’ve recently received good news, or maybe bad news, he will only talk about how this news affects him and his life–without thinking about you.
6. There's a Lack of Trust
Trust is critical in a relationship. If you lose trust in each other, this is a sure sign that you've lost the relationship or should consider a counselor.
Lack of trust can show up in a few different ways. If your husband constantly questions what you say or do, this is a sign he doesn't trust you. As trust is surely a two-way street, the same goes for you when you’re feeling uneasy about words and actions.
There are always ways to revitalize and discuss trust issues and downfalls in the relationship in a constructive way, check out these tips and tricks!
7. Your Husband Doesn't Protect You
When a man is in love, he feels the need to protect you. This could be helping you through an emotional crisis or rushing to your aid when you get lost or stuck somewhere.
Either way, when this is gone, it means the love is too.
If you find yourself stranded by the side of the road with a flat tire, and a man who is “too busy at work” to come to your aid, then you’ve answered your own question and he doesn’t love you anymore. In retrospect, it’s not in your best interest to entertain this partnership for longer. Your partner is supposed to be your emergency contact, your right hand, and if they fall short on delivering on promises in life and love, it’s time to ask yourself some serious questions.
8. You Never Have Date Nights
Okay, let’s face it, when you have kids, date nights get difficult. Suddenly you are busy, and it is much more difficult to score some time alone.
Regardless of this, the two of you should still be actively planning date nights.
If you try to plan date nights, and your husband refuses, this means he doesn't want to go on a date with you. Any man who doesn’t want to date you clearly isn’t in love with you.
Additionally, if he does take you out, but clearly doesn't enjoy it, he probably isn't enjoying it because he no longer enjoys being with you. A man in love always enjoys spending time with his wife.
9. He's Irritable
Is your husband always irritated when you ask him stuff? Does he never do the things you ask him to do?
It’s a possibility your husband is always irritated in general, but if he cannot express his annoyances to you, there’s an underlying issue.
While some occasional irritation is part of living with another person, once you begin to notice that the irritation becomes more frequent, this is a bad sign. And if the irritation is constant–then he isn’t in love.
10. He Doesn't Treat You Well
Your husband should treat you well, even if you have been married for years. Treating you well means he should give you occasional compliments, as well as doing kind things for you, such as holding open the door and complimenting your love language.
Your husband should also always treat you with respect and never belittle you. If you find that your husband is constantly calling you stupid or saying things like “why can’t you just___” this is belittling behavior and it is not right. With a husband like that, who needs enemies?
Once your husband has lost respect for you and begins to belittle you, the love is gone from the relationship. It’s time to move on.
Ahh! These Hit Too Close to Home, What Can I Do About It?
You’ve read the above list and you're panicking, because your husband shows most or all of the signs that he doesn’t love you anymore. What do you do now?
None of these signs, or a combination of various, mean the book closing on your marriage. It simply signals that it’s time for a well-needed love refresh and some hard-hitting conversations. You could definitely hire a counselor to mediate it if you’re lost on where to begin. If you are up to the task of discussing the issue 1v1, that’s totally great as well.
Your husband falling out of love with you means your relationship, or yourself might need some work. You also may need to reevaluate what you are prioritizing in life as the relationship could be failing as a result of both of you losing emotion.
Don’t let that feeling of worry go just yet, because your husband falling out of love with you could also indicate he has fallen in love with someone else. He may even be seeing someone else, especially if he is constantly exhibiting sign #1–making plans without you. Yikes! This is obviously the worst-case scenario, but unfortunately, it’s mentionable.
Check out the signs below for damage control, and re-starting the love that made you choose this person in the first place.
1. Don't Demand a Change
It can be tempting to approach your husband and immediately demand he love you again. Don’t do this, it’s not how emotions work.
Confronting someone who you think is falling out of love with you will only push them further away. This is because confrontation only strains emotions further rather than resolving them.
2. Open the Lines of Communication
You do need to speak with your husband because you can’t continue in a loveless marriage and communication is key.
Start by talking about what has changed in his life. Is he feeling stress or pressure you aren’t aware of?
Then, ask why he thinks he has fallen out of love with you. Be prepared, as you may not like the answer to this question.
After that, discuss a solution together. Know in advance that the solution may not always be exactly as you want as the solution must work for both of you.
Unfortunately, the solution may sadly be a divorce. Before you rush into a divorce, you and your spouse should both try the next two steps on this list.
3. See a Therapist
No matter what comes of the aforementioned conversation, you and your husband should see a therapist, both together and separately.
Seeing a therapist will help you come to terms with your own feelings, as well as the feelings you have for one another.
If there are any unresolved issues, the therapist can help you mediate these in a constructive way.
4. Try Some Methods for Falling Back in Love
If, and only if, your husband and you both agree, the two of you can try some methods of falling back in love.
There are a couple of different ways you can try to fall back in love:
- Going on dates.
- Spending more time together.
- Reintroducing physical affection to your relationship.
- Talking regularly about interests and goals.
Doing all of the activities will likely help you and your husband remember why you fell in love in the first place. But, if you do them all and still see the signs mentioned above, then it is time to make a hard decision and consider a future without your husband.
Final Thoughts
Overall, finding out your husband no longer has feelings for you is never easy. Yet, it’s better to discover a problem and work to fix it, rather than continue to ignore it–after all, you deserve better!
If you have found your husband has fallen out of love with you, consider trying some steps to help him (and you!) fall back in love. No matter what has happened between you, love always deserves a second chance!
