10 Signs You Should Actually Break Up
When you are in a relationship, it is more about the journey than the destination. It is about the day-in and day-out being there for one another, in good times and bad, kind of journey. Sometimes, though, you and the person you are with aren't meant for one another in the long-run.
Some relationships are only meant to serve one purpose. Once that purpose is met, staying together could actually turn destructive. It is in these relationships that breaking up seems like a clear and easy decision to make. However, there are other times when your vision might be hazy, and the path could be unclear. Maybe you fear you will regret the decision once you break up with your significant other.
In times of uncertainty, you are invited to practice patience, no matter the situation. In relationships and life in general, many decisions are based on emotion. What this means is, every time you meet up with your significant other, there is a chance for you to experience a wide range of emotions that have the potential to dictate your decisions. .
If you find yourself at a crossroads in your relationship, start recognizing how you feel before, during, and after each interaction. This will help you weigh out the pros and cons and figure out if this person is right for you or if your intuition is telling you to get out while you still can!
For even more confirmation that you are making the right decision, continue reading below for ten signs that you should actually break up.
1. The Communication Is Lacking
Communication is something that can make or break a relationship. It is a lot like trust in the sense that, if there is none, then there is no relationship.
However, there is a difference between a couple that doesn't do a lot of talking and a couple that doesn't communicate. Like the great Joel Barish (Jim Carrey) says in "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind:
"Constantly talking isn't necessarily communicating."
There are other ways of communicating with your partner than verbally. Yet, a couple that is always arguing or can't seem to communicate in a way that is receptive to one another may need to think about splitting.
Granted, everyone fights sometimes. That is normal and healthy. Relationships are strongly dependent on maintaining a healthy balance. It is when you start to notice the balance disappear that other problems could be the reason. For instance, if you and your partner never laugh and have fun together, you likely won’t work out in the end.
Sometimes the best communication is just being present with one another. Sitting alone, silently together sometimes does more good than a verbal conversation. Maybe your partner is going through a tough time but doesn't want to talk about it. This isn't necessarily a means for splitting unless you are noticing other warning signs listed below.
It is when you find the communication lacking for several months that it might be time to reevaluate the situation.
2.You Can't Think Of A Reason To Stay Together
If you have made it this far in the list, you might already be weighing your options in your relationship. Start thinking back to the very beginning. Try to think about your relationship as objectively as possible.
You will naturally start thinking about the good times as well as the bad. you could be in a relationship that seems to only have bad memories. if this is the case, you are most likely better off apart.
Relationships are voluntary unions. If your heart isn't in it anymore, there is no sense in forcing anything on you or your partner.
3. You Are No Longer Happy
This one might seem obvious and easier said than done. However, if you aren't happy, then take it as a good indication, the relationship isn't right for you. The person you choose to be with should add to your happiness and security, not compromise it.
Choose to be with someone that you can be proud to say you are with. Someone that, for the most part, puts a smile on your face whenever you think about them.
Some people stay in relationships because they are afraid of being single. However, another study suggests that a person is likely to stay in a relationship that makes them unhappy if they feel it makes their partner happy. Most of us care about and don't want to see our partners hurt by the ending of a relationship, so we stick it out for their sake.
If you are truly unhappy in your relationship, this is usually something that you can't go back from. It is probably best to call it quits and salvage whatever friendship you can before things turn sour.
4. He Doesn't Seem To Care (Maybe You Don't Either)
If you two have stopped fighting altogether, this could be a sign that things are taking a turn for the worst. It is when people stop caring that they stop showing any interest in the relationship at all.
Sometimes too much damage has been done, or you two have simply grown apart, and you don't care about the same things anymore.
It is never a good idea to stay in a relationship for the sake of the other person. Years will pass, and you will end up resenting one another in the end. If you have lost feelings or feel as though your partner doesn't care anymore, it might be time to initiate a conversation.
5. You Dread Going Home To Your Significant Other
Another way to look at it is, you dread going out with or seeing your significant other at all. This is a red flag, and it plays into being unhappy in a relationship. If you notice that unhappiness is turning to dread, then it is time to take matters into your own hands.
It is one thing to stay in a relationship for altruistic reasons, but in the end, you have to think about yourself. Staying in a relationship that you dread will only lead to negative things in the future. You are more likely to take that negativity into other areas of your life as well. This is because it stems from a feeling you have for someone you hold close to your heart.
In the same sense, if you are only staying with someone because you don't want to see them hurt, then you are doing them a disservice in the end. If you care about the person, let him or her have a chance at true happiness with someone else.
There is a great way to figure out if you are only in a relationship out of ambivalence for your partner. It is suggested that you get out of your head and into your body. What this means is, stay present. You are more likely to understand your feelings when you do this.
6. Friends and Family Are Against It
Love is blind. You might think you see clearly, but you most likely aren't. Family and close friends that genuinely care about your well-being are the best way to quickly bring yourself back down to Earth. According to this study, people are more likely to run back to their friends post-breakup. They do this because of the security they know they will receive from loved ones.
If your friends and family don't like your significant other, they probably have good reasoning for their feelings. That said, you can respect the feelings of your friends and family without taking their advice.
Chances are, though, they are probably right in their feelings. This is true solely because they see it from the outside. However, they are not in your relationship. It is your relationship. You are the one that is in it every day. Hear your friends and family out, but ultimately the decision is yours.
7. There Is No Trust
As mentioned above, trust and communication are two of the fundamental building blocks for a healthy relationship. You can ask anyone what the main things they look for in a relationship are. People almost unanimously agree that trust and communication are two of the most important things to look for.
Without trust, there is nothing for the relationship to stand on. One person is constantly nervous about the other. All that negative energy manifests itself in the form of arguments, stress, and fatigue. You could even experience things like loss of appetite or difficulty sleeping from being in a relationship where you don't trust the other person.
The same can be said for relationships that have trust. If you aren't consistently working to maintain that trust, then it will wear down and eventually be lost. Things are changing every day. It is crucial to consistently give each other reminders of why your relationship is strong and continue to build that trust.
If you realize it's you that has trust issues, and it is starting to affect your relationship, there are ways to combat this. It may require you to take some time to be alone to work through some of your past traumas. According to Good Therapy, the quickest way to overcome trust issues is by trusting your partner.
This might seem counterintuitive. Yet, if you can admit to your partner that you have trust issues, that is the first step to overcoming them. Allow yourself to trust your partner with these feelings. You can then take small steps from there in order to rebuild a genuine trust.
8. If You Are Waiting For Him To Change -- He Won't
This is one for the ages. How many times have you heard the story of the girl that stayed with a guy because she thought he would change. She thought she would be the one that could turn the bad boy into a husband. They have made movies about it for decades.
How does every single one of those kinds of movies end?
The girl is always left heartbroken and alone in the end. The same goes for guys chasing the bad girl that doesn't want to be tied down. You are setting yourself up for failure. Remember that relationships are about mutual give and take.
Don't ever let yourself get walked on in hopes that the person will change. The person will likely never realize what they have or treat you how you deserve. In the end, you will likely get used and feel pretty lousy about the whole thing.
9. You Bring Out the Worst in Each Other
There have been shows and movies showcasing this dynamic duo as well. The Jersey Shore is a great example. Everyone knows about the infamous relationship between Sammi Sweetheart and Ronnie. The two always brought out the worst in each other, but they just couldn't stay away. They loved the drama and passion of it all.
These relationships tend to sweep you off your feet in the beginning, but they always lead to heartache and tears in the end. The world should all take a page from Sammi and Ronnie's book and call it quits, preferably long before any physical altercations occur.
The relationship might seem like it comes from a place of passionate love, but really it just means you two aren't meant for one another.
10. The Relationship Is Negatively Affecting Your Mental Health
Your mental health isn't something that should ever be played with. However, being in a relationship that is negatively affecting your mental health can be hard to realize. Not only that but it can be difficult to find the strength and will power to leave the relationship.
If you find yourself in this type of situation, you are highly encouraged to seek help from a loved one or from a professional. Take into consideration how the relationship makes you feel. If you feel scared, depressed, anxious, or abused, there is someone out there that can help you move on from this.
Your mental stability is more important than being with someone that only makes you happy part-time.
Sometimes you are in a relationship for so long that it's hard for you to picture things any other way. There comes a time, though, that you must be real with yourself about your relationship. There is little to no point in being with someone that causes you stress and unhappiness.
As humans, we are all only here for such a short amount of time. The relationships you choose to keep in your life should be those that compliment you and the path you choose for yourself. Choose to surround yourself with people that love and lift you up rather than fighting each day just to make it work.
