How to Tell If You’re Ready to Date Again After a Breakup

It's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel after a breakup, but it’s there!

If you've recently gone through a breakup, how do you know when you're ready to start dating again? We'll go over thirteen signs you can look for that will let you know you're prepared to date again so you can move forward with your life, and loooove!

1. You Can Deal With the Memories

A big sign that you’re ready to date again is how you deal with the memories from your previous relationship. After a breakup, many people find themselves unable to visit places and pick up objects with lots of meaning to their ex. It’s proven that items and surroundings connected to high emotions can trigger a strong feeling inside you. It might feel unbearable at first.

As time passes, these items, places, things, will trigger you much less. You’ll find yourself able to:

Look at their social media without issues. (It’s not recommended, but you do you!)
Go through clothes and other items left behind. More room for a post-break wardrobe, hello.
Visit old stomping grounds, like the movie theater where you first met. It’s not their place anyways.

You’ll know you’ve moved forward when these places don’t feel like they did in the relationship.

This moment is exciting! These places and things can still remind you of them, but now you have control over your life. You can start dating and put new meaning in these things that once meant something completely different. You reclaim control over the trigger around you.

2. You Have New Goals for Dating

Your dating style will slowly mesh into something thats more, intentional? Yep. Instead of wasting your time, playing mental games, and back-and-forths, you know exactly what you want.

You’ll know you’re ready to get out there again because the idea of meeting new people will sound exciting! You don’t want to date if it feels like you’re forcing yourself to get back out into the world.

Here are a few tips for successful dating in this new arena:

Go in with a game plan, ready to set your limits and clarify what you want.
Ensure you keep time for your friends and yourself.
Seek a partner with the same goals to prevent breakups in the future.

These are ideal to keep in mind as you start over.

With this new partner, you will have goals in mind that you didn’t have with the previous person. A fresh start means you shouldn’t have any attachment to your old relationship.

3. You've Developed Healthy Coping Mechanisms

As with any painful loss, it can be tricky to find healthy ways to cope with a breakup. At first, many people turn to unhealthy habits like texting their ex or indulging in junk food every night. While these might be okay for a day or two, they shouldn’t become permanent fixtures in your life as you recover.

A few of the best coping mechanisms for breakups that work include:

Finding a new hobby or activity.
Staying socially active.
Getting moving and exercising.
Taking care of yourself, mentally and physically.

These will keep your mind and body in shape.

Even though they can feel like the end of the world, breakups have the potential to produce positive outcomes. The more you work at coping healthily, the faster you will be ready to start dating again. You’ve got this!

4. You Can See the Bad and Good in Your Past Love

After a breakup, it’s tricky to see things through an unbiased lens. You might be confused about the loss, stuck on the idea that you were the perfect couple. Rather, you may feel extreme anger towards the person you once loved. Part of moving on and knowing you’re ready for a new relationship is learning from the past one and being able to see the good and the bad. Emotional maturity is a must.

A few traits that indicate emotional maturity include:

Taking responsibility for your actions.
Owning up to mistakes.
Accepting and recognizing needs.
Being okay with vulnerability.
Setting healthy boundaries.

These indicate that you are on a healthy playing field with your emotions and ready to look back on a past relationship. The ability to reflect is hard to get to - but eventually, you’ll reach that mark.

5. You Have Goals, Hobbies, and Friendships

In a relationship, it can be tricky to find new friends, set goals, and find hobbies you love. While that’s not always bad, a breakup can reveal the absence of independence you were missing in life. It’s critical to attempt to make new friends, set goals for yourself, and find a hobby you love.

Here are a few excellent hobbies you might try fresh out of a breakup:

Making a podcast.
Taking a dance class.
Writing a blog.
Learning to bake.
Trying out hiking trails.

What else have you been yearning to try?

Once you feel like you have a grasp of this new independent life, you might be ready to start dating again. It’s critical to have friends, hobbies, and goals that make you a well-rounded, fully-fleshed person before dedicating your time to another individual. You’re an awesome person too!

6. You Are Priority #1

Occasionally, you can get so wrapped up in the other person that you forget to be one yourself. You’ve made your partner a priority and took the focus away from the number one, you!

You might have a hard time prioritizing yourself in this healing journey. Instead, your ex might be at the front of your thoughts all the time.

Here are a few tips to consider when healing from a past relationship:

Ensure you take a break from them and get away.
Deal with any problems or unanswered questions in a healthy manner.
Date yourself to get to know yourself.
Find a support system.

These will help you center your focus back on yourself.

Before diving into a relationship with a new person, you need to know how to prioritize you. Ensure you are healthy and happy first before you let another person into your space.

7. You Feel Whole

A breakup can feel like you’ve lost a literal half of yourself. Some studies have proven that the pain experienced during a split often shares the same neural pathways as those experiencing physical pain. It f****** hurts.

It’s estimated that it takes at least a couple of months to heal after a breakup, if not more. You’ll feel like somethings missing, and that you’re not all there. It’s normal to lose sleep, lose weight, and even lose joy. Pain wages war on the emotional and physical body, and loss of a love once had, is deep.

You’ll know you’re ready to date again when you feel whole. You will feel as if you can take on the world by yourself, rather than relying on another person to keep you afloat. When something happens in your life, you can take it on yourself.

8. You Know Your Deal Breakers

There was probably something that ended the last relationship that you don’t want repeating itself. Whether its personality traits, communication styles, or boundary breakdowns, now you know what you don’t want. Before jumping to a new date, you must know your deal-breakers.

Here are a few red flags you might look for as you start over:

Any addictions.
Mismatched goals.
Jealousy and distrust.
Infidelity tendencies.
Crazy ex stories.

These are signs to run away as fast as you can.

It’s also critical to set up boundaries with your ex. Take time apart from them. Establish how communication will work now that you’re started on separate paths. Ensure you have rules in place to establish how you will handle any encounters in the future. Without these, you risk falling into a dangerous breakup loop.

9. You Don't Stalk Their Social Media

Unfortunately, our modern technology has made it easy to stalk someone’s life on social media. If you go through a breakup, it might seem appealing to watch their social media for live updates. Without fail, this habit will end up in hurt. If there were any strong feelings in the relationship, it will sting to see them move forward. After all, you shared intimate moments and a part of your life with them.

If you can handle it, always delete your ex from social media or unfollow them. This act can help rewire neural pathways and make the grieving process easier than it otherwise would be. It doesn’t have to be a cold-turkey stop! You can tell your ex ahead of time to stay on good terms with them throughout the process. If they care for you, they should be on board with this step.

Out of sight, out of mind.

10. You're Ready to Communicate

Communication is critical when getting over anything, whether talking to a friend or even settling unresolved disputes with your ex. Being ready and willing to dive into the past to move on is an adult decision that shows you can start dating again.

If you’re considering talking to your ex again, ensure you think about it. You need to have a good reason to speak to them. Exert caution, even if you left on good terms. You never know what could open up a flurry of hurt and regret. Avoid a downhill spiral at all costs if healing would come better by keeping your distance from your ex. Always talk to a trusted friend before communicating with your ex.

When you feel ready to dive into the past with a trusted person, take the opportunity. It will clear a path for new flowers to bloom and an exciting season of life to take root. Take your time! Don’t rush things in the healing process.

11. You're Okay With Being Single

After you’ve had a significant other for so long, it can feel overwhelming to be suddenly single in a world with millions of happy relationships. That’s why one of the indicators that you’re ready to date again is if you’re okay with being single. If you’re at this stage, you’ve become comfortable with yourself. You know what you want and need.

There are actually tons of benefits to being single! You have more time to keep yourself in shape and meet new friends in your daily routine. You have time to be creative, and you can even catch a few more hours of sleep at night than you would if there was a significant other to spend time with during the evening hours.

It’s not easy to be okay with being single. Once you find yourself, however, there’s often nothing better. When the right person comes along, you’ll be ready to meet them. It might seem contradictory, but being by yourself is the best way to be ready to meet the right person.

12. You're In Control of Your Mood

Emotions are beautiful things that allow us to experience love, happiness, and more. However, they can also take advantage of us and manipulate us in the worst moments. After a breakup, it’s common to feel wild emotions. You can expect to feel happy, sad, and angry on an amplified level. However, it’s critical to control these feelings as soon as possible.

To better deal with your breakup, consider:

Establishing boundaries with your ex in-person and online.
Having fun by yourself at the movies, inside, or at a spa.
Talking to friends about the feelings you experience.

Let yourself feel, but don’t drown in the emotions.

It’s critical to remember that the end goal is moving on. Once you have the emotions under control, you’re ready to meet someone new who can help further heal the wound on your heart. You can do it!

Did you enjoy this list? These signs are the best indicators that you're ready to dive into dating life again.

If you see any of these, the end is in sight! Have you experienced any of these signs? What helped you know you were ready to date again? We'd love to hear from you below!

Nicole Martin