Bad Memories? 7 Ways to Detox Yourself
Memories, good and bad, are rooted in emotion. It is the emotion attached to the memory that leaves a lasting impact on your mental health and even how you approach your life moving forward. When you think of what constitutes a “bad” memory, your brain most likely concludes that it is a result of past trauma of some sort.
Sure, you can have a bad memory that wasn’t necessarily what you think of as traumatic, but in a sense, all bad memories are based on traumatic experiences.
There are three types of traumas
- Acute
- Chronic
- Complex
Acute traumas form when you experience a terrifying event like a parent dying suddenly. Chronic traumas form when you experience these events for a prolonged period of time like an abusive relationship. This type can also lead to complex trauma if it happens in childhood.
Complex traumas form when you experience these events repeatedly with no way of escape.
They usually occur in childhood and are typically done by parents. Maybe you had a moody mother that yelled a lot, and it made you fearful. When you experience trauma like this as a child, you carry it with you into your adulthood. In this case, it would leave you with trust issues, and you may shut down or run from perceived scary situations as an adult.
Sometimes, though, an event was so traumatic to you as a child that your brain goes into defense mode and essentially presents a shadow over the event. This leaves you without a single memory of the event at all, so uncovering your burdens as an adult can be excessively difficult in this situation.
So what causes a memory to form in the brain and make a lasting impression on someone’s life?
The Formation of a Memory
Scientists have studied the brain and its functionality for centuries. It wasn’t until recently that they discovered that memories are stored outside of the hippocampus, which is located in the inner region of the temporal lobe of the brain.
Not only is it where short-term memories are formed, but it’s responsible for emotional responses as well. Scientists found that memories are simultaneously formed in the brain’s cerebral cortex, which is located in the brain’s outer layer of neural tissue.
What causes a memory to form in the first place, though?
You can thank neurons for this one. Neurons are the cells that are solely responsible for sending and receiving information to the brain about the outside world and motor commands to your muscles. They send and receive this information via electrical signals.
When a specific grouping of neurons makes a strong connection, memory is formed. The stronger the connection, the more prominent the memory. Proteins help with this formation as well. They are responsible for the connection between the neurons, causing a spark in the brain.
During a traumatic event, the memory is almost immediately consolidated into long-term memory. When an experience causes a high level of emotional arousal and stress hormones, proteins are synthesized only a few hours later, consolidating the memories deeper within the brain’s cortex.
It is with the help of stress hormones and emotions that the memory is then stored as implicit memory. Implicit memories are harder to eradicate once the intense connection has been made, but it is still possible.
What Is Oxytocin and How Is it Involved in Memory Formation?
Oxytocin is famously known as the “love hormone.” Many people associate it with the warm and fuzzy feelings they get when they are in the presence of someone they are attracted to. It is a hormone that is released from the hypothalamus and is responsible for heightening emotions during an event to trigger memory formation.
Until recently, this hormone has always gotten positive recognition. However, studies show that oxytocin isn’t only released during positive social interactions. It is released during negative experiences as well.
In fact, scientists believe oxytocin could be solely responsible for strengthening the brain's connection during traumatic experiences to solidify the memory for the long-term.
Those with Social Anxiety Disorder and Panic Disorder seem to be further affected by the hormone in triggering situations than those with healthy brain function. Scientists continue to study the link between oxytocin and memory formation to determine exactly why this hormone is released in some situations and not others.
Why Is it So Hard to Forget Bad Memories?
No matter where the emotion originates, anytime you experience extremely intense emotional situations, the memory is likely to stay with you. In the same sense, if you continue to flashback and remember the experience as if you are still in it, the memory solidifies even more.
That said, there is a constructive way to remember past events that don’t trigger the negative emotion and help you detox. This is explained in further detail below.
As stated above, memories are rooted in emotion. When you try to remember things at school like studying for a test, it can be hard to remember the information if you aren’t emotionally involved or passionate about the subject matter.
Getting your car stolen, on the other hand, is a memory that is likely to stick with you for a while.
It has been shown that bad memory triggers light up parts of the brain that are responsible for emotions. Essentially, each time you are triggered by the bad memory, you get an influx of the negative emotions you felt at the time the memory was formed. This is also why people can’t seem to get over Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) without conscious effort and thinking.
Once a traumatic event anchors itself in your memory, it can be a lifelong journey trying to remap your thoughts and detox from the event.
That said, when you live consciously and work to eradicate these triggering memories, it strengthens your brain and trains your brain to handle future events healthily. It also continues to relieve you little by little of the memory until you one day can think of the memory without being triggered.
Below are 7 ways to help you detox from traumatic events and bad memories for good:
1. Identify Past Traumas With Psychotherapy
Sometimes, trauma is too ingrained and terrifying to do the work necessary to eradicate it without the help of a professional. You might have supportive friends and family, but dealing with the aftermath of chronic and complex trauma is best dealt with alongside the supervision and advice of a trusted professional.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is a great method used by professionals to provide patients with at least some relief from past trauma. It is a tool that can be used throughout your life whenever you find yourself in a triggering or potentially negative situation.
Psychiatrists use this hands-on practical approach to problem-solving to help patients change the way they think, feel, and respond to those triggering scenarios.
No trauma is too small. If it is affecting your life, it is worth talking to someone about it. The doctor-patient relationship is one you can trust without feeling embarrassed or censoring yourself.
2. Discover Your Triggers and Steer Clear of Them
Triggering situations are the main reason why a bad memory becomes increasingly harder to eradicate. The more you are triggered, the stronger your brain's connection between the neurons that formed the memory.
Before you can heal from the trauma and move forward with your life, you must first identify your triggers. The first step to identifying triggers is realizing when you are triggered. This is the first step, and oftentimes the hardest as well.
Once you can consciously realize when you are triggered, you can then identify what part of the scenario is triggering to you. Sometimes identifying what the trigger is can take the help of a professional as well.
All in all, the less you are triggered, the easier and quicker you can relieve yourself of the bad memory altogether. It will take daily conscious efforts of living a life that is free of triggers. You may have to change up your routine or even the people you choose to be around, but the less you are triggered, the easier it’ll be to forget the memory.
3. Remain Positive About the Future
As much as we might want things to stay the same sometimes, they never do. In the case of bad memories, though, you can use this to your advantage. Over time, the power the memory holds over you will diminish at least a little.
Thinking about bad memories and negative thoughts can easily put anyone into a mental rut that is hard to get out of. Instead, focus on what’s in front of you. You have the option to take your power back and control your happiness from this point on.
Spend time with the people that make you happy, doing things that bring you joy. No matter how dark the past may seem, it does not define you. Your future is just as bright as those that don’t suffer from past trauma.
4. Change Your Thought Patterns
Time can do funny things to the memory. It can be your greatest ally when it comes to detoxing from bad memories. Every time you remember something, you remember it a little differently than the last. Essentially, each time you remember the event, you don’t recall the original event anymore. Instead, you recall the memory the way you last remembered it.
The tiny gaps in your memory are filled with false information your brain puts in its place. You can take advantage of this by consciously replacing the bad parts of the memory with different information. If you do this each time you recall the memory, you’ll eventually recall the revised version rather than the actual memory.
Granted, this is a lot easier said than done. However, with practice and guidance, you can experience great relief using this tactic.
5. Take Care of Your Body
It goes without saying that a happy body results in a happy mind. The brain is the motherboard of the body. All information is received and sent out from this source. When you take care of your body, you take care of your mind. A happy mind is less likely to dwell on past hardships, and can more easily create a happier and fulfilling future.
Understanding your physical health is also a great way to understand your mental health. Many times when you feel a physical ailment, it is derived from mental baggage of some sort. This mental baggage could be stress, lack of sleep, or even those hard to forget past traumas.
Take the time to cook healthy food for yourself on a daily basis. Create an exercise regimen that you actually want to stick to. When you create these healthy habits in your physical world, it will free your mind up. Once you have a clear mind, you can more easily focus on a healthy and happy future for yourself.
6. Dive into Spirituality
No matter what you believe, believing in something higher than yourself is another great tool to overcome bad memories -- even if you claim science as a spirituality. It is the process of allowing yourself to let go and fully immerse yourself into something greater than yourself.
We are all only on this Earth for a short amount of time. In the grand scheme of things, a lifetime for a human is like the blink of an eye for the universe. Spirituality can teach great lessons of mindfulness and living in the present moment.
For some, it can completely change their perspective of life. This shift in viewpoint is enough for some people to realize the power their trauma holds, and effectively let it go. Of course, this is also a practice that takes time and consistent effort. Yet, it has the power to literally rewire your brain for the better.
7. Medication Can Help As Well
Medication isn’t always the best option for people. For those that have gone through the above-stated steps and are still drowning in their bad memories, medication can be an effective release.
It should be noted, though, that medication should never be used as a means of masking a problem. You will never see true happiness or relief from trauma if you continue to mask the problem. Be sure to communicate openly with your doctor while trying out a medication. Your doctor will know then if the medication is helping or only causing more issues.
Regardless of how a bad memory is formed or rooted in trauma, you can take steps to effectively relieve yourself from the pain and power the memory holds over your life. Before you feel like your life is a lost cause, try following these 7 ways to detox yourself.
