Holding Hands Explained, From The Science And Reasons Why We Do It, To Benefits

If there’s collective action we are fond of doing, whether knowingly or unknowingly, it is holding hands. It’s everywhere you turn to when you’re out on the street. Couples, hands clasped, smiling, and walking animatedly. A mother guiding a child across a zebra sidewalk. A young adult assisting a senior citizen. It’s everywhere you look.

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Artistic depictions of this have been frescoed on the ceilings of the Sistine Chapel by Michelangelo. Michael Jackson sang about it in “Hold My Hand” and so many artistic forms have given credence to that act. It’s part of what makes us human.

Why do we engage in this particular exercise? Why do we suddenly, instinctively reach out to grab the hands of another?  Let’s find out.

The science behind holding hands

According to scientific research, we are programmed to touch and grab the hand of another person. We see that with newborn babies when they clasp their tiny fingers around yours. This action is often regarded as the palmar grasp reflex, and it is an action most (if not all) babies do.

Touching is a necessity

While inside their mother’s bellies, babies reach out to clutch their umbilical cord. And when they’re fully formed and birthed into the world, some of them are fond sticking their thumbs into their mouths.

Charles Nelson, author, and professor at the Harvard Medical School, uncovered the problems children could face when they’re deprived of human contact. In his book, he led a study that chronicled the growth progress of children raised in poorly-funded orphanages in Romania.

His findings reveal that the children who had never been hugged, touched, or nuzzled experienced stunted growth and physical problems. A similar condition is also experienced by adults. Studies have shown that adults that don’t receive touches go through anxiety attacks and depression.

Psychologists, Alberto Gallace and Charles Spence, say:

Touching hands is a love sign

Scientific studies also reveal that touching isn’t just a necessity, but a love sign. A study conducted at the University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA) shows that “human touch triggers the release of oxytocin, aka “the love hormone,” in our brain. Oxytocin is a neurotransmitter that increases feelings of trust, generosity and compassion, and decreases feelings of fear and anxiety”

Director of the Touch Research Institute, Dr. Tiffany Field says that touching hands is one of the powerful forms of touch. This is partly because the skin, as a sense organ, needs stimulation just as every sensitive part of the body.

The benefits of holding hands

There are many reasons why we’d want to grab the hand of someone else. The action also comes with benefits as well. We will be looking at each of them.

It reduces stress

Do you feel good when you grab your partner’s hands? Studies have shown those actions don’t only make you feel excited but actually lower your stress levels.

In 2006, A team of University of Virginia researchers conducted a study using 16 heterosexual couples as subjects. The women were hooked up to a machine that delivered electric shocks to their ankles and recorded their threat-reaction levels in their brains. When these women were warned about the electric shocks, a part of their brains spiked.

But when these women held the hands of their partners, the spike was significantly reduced. However, when those women held the hands of someone else, the brain activity was also increased.

Similarly in 2009, 25 heterosexual women were tested with their male partners present. These women were given mild burns and were asked to rate the level of their soreness. The burns were less painful for them as they held their partners' hands. When their partners were not in the room, the women felt more pain.

The mere gesture of holding hands alleviates stress. This will make you more equipped to cope with adverse circumstances.

It’s a form of communication

The importance of touch goes beyond relieving stress. It is a form of communication, like eye contact and sign language.

A study from the University of California Berkeley shows that NBA teams with more physical contact on the basketball pitch got the highest points and won the game. The study also reveals that hand-holding transmits mental information between the players. This information registers in their subconscious, whether they’re aware of it or not.

Matt Hertenstein, a professor from DePauw University conducted research to this effect. He blindfolded volunteers and asked them to communicate with themselves with touch alone. He concluded that 75% of them were able to communicate effectively without speaking.

Holding hands is a deeper form of communication than words.

It is a proof of affection

When you grab the hand of your partner or someone special in your life, it is a sign that you cherish them. It is even proven that couples who maintain physical contact get more satisfaction in their relationships.

Founder of Health Psychological Clinic, Joanna Konstantopoulou, says:

Same-sex friends are also fond of holding hands as a sign of friendship and affection towards each other.

It provides a sense of security

How did you feel as a kid when your mom or dad walked you down a busy street? You definitely felt secure and safe, knowing someone was with you every step of the way. It’s almost the feeling you’d get when you’re seeing a horror flick with your partner beside you.

Holding hands provides a sense of comfort and safety, giving you a confidence boost. Even mothers feel safe knowing that their kids are within reach.

It can be used to exercise control

While holding hands gives people a sense of safety, it is also a sign to exert control over another person.

Dr Becky Spelman, a psychologist at Private Therapy Clinic, says:

Spelman explains that a controlling partner will place their hands on top of the other partner’s hand. In the same vein, parents whose child has erred might place their hands in a punishing way.

A learned habit from childhood

Another reason we instinctively reach out to grab the hand of someone else is that it has been ingrained in us from childhood.

Spelman says:

Holding hands is something we’ve always meant to do from our births.

It’s great for your heart

Holding hands, apart from being a stress reliever, is a great for your heart. A study from Behavioral Medicine says that the gesture lowers blood pressure—one of the major reasons for heart diseases.

When you grab the hand of a loved one, it creates a sensation that aids your heart. And that’s a good thing.

It’s a reassuring gesture in times of crisis

Holding hands isn’t mutually exclusive to friends and family. It is also an act to show support.

Spelman says “In all cultures, we tend to hold hands with someone who is grieving or in pain as a way of indicating our support to them. In very difficult circumstances, even complete strangers may grasp one another’s hand to comfort and engage with one another. Survivors of crash landings, for example, often describe reaching out for the hand of the person sitting next to them.”

Caregivers and nurses, during their usual shift, hold the hands of their distressed patients as a sign of reassurance and love.

It is also political

For the LGBTQ+ people, holding hands goes beyond reassuring others. It is a political sign of hope and safety.

Psychosexual and relationship psychotherapist, Silva Neves, says "Same sex couples holding hands in public comes with courage and defiance, which is to be celebrated but needs consideration about safety, unfortunately. Thinking about where and when to hold hands is something that heterosexual couples never have to worry about."

Thus, when LGBTQ+ people do so in public, it's a message that says 'Look, we aren't afraid anymore.'

Holding hands is a gesture that comes with several benefits. So, reach out and grab the hand of a loved one today.