Dating Tips For Successful Women
As much as Hollywood tries to depict successful and rich women, they never seem to get it right.
Close your eyes for a moment and you can almost paint a stereotypical character:
A young, vibrant, and ambitious woman, at the apex of her career, surrounded by men. She drives the latest cars to work, calls the shots in a board meeting. Even though most of the men disagree with her ideas, they have no choice but to execute it to the latter.
Why? Because she’s good at what she does.
Well, that’s until her love life is revealed and we find nothing. We find these women struggling with being single. They’re frustrated with the idea that a guy finds them desirable one minute and unattractive the next. And so, for the next hour, we see these beautiful, accomplished women miserable trying to get a man.
What we usually notice at first is that men find these women as annoying, proud, full of themselves, and haughty. And so, for them to find true love, they’d have to become someone else, something else.
We haven’t gotten to the weird part yet. We happen to believe what we see on the screens as a reality. We see successful women as lonely, emotionally withdrawn, and socially awkward because they’re not the ideal woman for men.
Is it really the case?
Successful women embody their title perfectly. That means thriving in everything they’re interested in, and that also includes starting a relationship. But let’s deal with a common misconception first.
Is it difficult for men to date successful women?
Back in 2004, science writer, John Schwartz, published a study titled ‘Glass Ceilings at Altar as Well as Bedroom’. In it, he boldly proclaims that men would rather marry their secretaries than their bosses.
This report which surveyed 120 male undergraduates concludes that “The study, in which college undergraduates were asked to make hypothetical choices, suggests that men in search of long-term relationships prefer to marry women in subordinate jobs rather than women who are supervisors.
These findings provide empirical support for the widespread belief that powerful women are at a disadvantage in the marriage market because men may prefer to marry less accomplished women.”
The study failed to realize the following: the experiences of male students in an academic setting is very different from men doing typical jobs.It would be absurd to expect a different answer from those students. They saw successful women having more influence over their studies and careers.
Also, when you think about it, 120 men is too small a number to draw up such conclusions, don’t you think?
Are men really emasculated and afraid to date powerful and successful women? The answer is NO. There are men out there who will stop at nothing to have a successful woman by their side. Men who will not feel like they’re doing you a favor by going on dates with you.
What successful women should look out for
Just like every other person out there, successful women are also eligible to swim in the dating pool. More so, they can find genuine love, cherish happiness, and manage their stellar careers without breaking a sweat. Because you’re powerful, men will also associate themselves with you. But what type of men should you look out for when trying to date?
1. Someone who will not see you as a competition
A man with a lot of ego and pride will always see you as a competition, no matter what. It is the simple reason that you earn more and reach a significant career height than him. So, they’d want to make a point by showing you who’s the hypothetical boss. They’d want to show you that they are their own bosses.
So, when you get them a fancy designer wristwatch as a gift, they’d want to break the bank just so they can get you something nicer. They are willing to drown in debts just to make a good impression on you. These types of men are usually resentful and envious because their egos deflate around you. And these sorts of men are no good for you.
Date a man who will see you as a human being, not a competition. Someone that can be creative with their presents, not just gifts that break the bank.
A man who is not intimidated
At the mention of your career and money moves, a man who is intimidated will back away slowly. It does happen most times but that shouldn’t bother you. Instead of settling for someone who will always cower at your bright light, look out for those who are impressed by it.
A man who will treat you nicely, regardless of your financial or social status. Regardless of who has more, you need a man that brings something to the table.
A man who is fiscally capable
It is possible that you’d have more zeroes in your bank account than the man who’s interested in you. But he should be able to take care of himself financially.
Relationship Expert, Tiffany G. Reyes, advises men looking to date successful women. “If you see her tip the valet a hundred dollars, don’t ever feel that you can do the same with what you’re earning. If you really want to be in the same league as her, then start with very small steps and make financially sound decisions right now.
Instead of wanting to buy designer things for yourself, just because your girlfriend wears designer from head to toe, keep that money in the bank—or, better yet, invest it. After all, the right kind of woman will not be interested in how much you make, but your ability to spend within your means, saving for the future, and still having the best time together.”
A man who is financially responsible is a huge turn on.
2. Someone who is honest
The role of honesty and transparency in relationships cannot be overemphasized. In a bid to impress you, some men will make tall tales, describing what they’re not. They’d have you believing their fake and glossy lives. If you’re not careful, they may rope into some problem. Deceitful men are fond of making a huge impression. You should always watch out for that.
What you need is someone who isn’t afraid to reveal his true nature. Someone you can feel safe with, regardless of his position on the social ladder.
A man who is thoughtful
There’d always be some bad days at work: a deal gone wrong, an annoying client or board members, just anything that may get you frustrated. While you may take control of the situation by keeping your cool at work, you may feel the need to let off some steam and feel better when you get home. The last thing you need is a man who doesn’t pay attention to your needs.
He may not be in the best position to offer a solution to the problem. But the mere thought that he’s there to listen to you, making you feel safe counts a lot. A man who is thoughtful will always have your best interest, no matter what. And that’s what you should look out for.
A well-mannered man
A man with good manners and respect for you is for keeps. Relationship and sex expert, Nichi Hodgson, says this boldly to men. “What matters to women more than money, looks, or gym-whittled muscles? Manners, that’s what, because, in a sea of ghosting and zombie-ing, good digital manners are the ultimate aphrodisiac.”
Simple gestures like keeping his phones out of sight during hangouts, promptly answering your texts, calling to confirm or place a raincheck on date appointments, or calling you randomly to ask about your day is just the perfect gentleman.
In a world filled with ill-mannered people, you don’t have to deal with one up close.
3. A man who will not see you as a cash cow
Successful and powerful women are vulnerable when it comes to matters of the heart. That’s why they’re always targets of manipulative and controlling men. These men will take advantage, and start milking these unsuspecting ladies dry. It starts with a small request for money with the promise of paying back which they don’t. Time after time, these ‘small requests’ become frequent, till they get entitled to
And when these women realize what has happened, a lot of damage has been done. You don’t need a man who will see your successful position as an avenue to elevate his financial status and extort from you.
A man who is not a burden
A man who is a burden is not only a bore but a huge turnoff. You’d find it unbearable if he continues to seek your support (and money) to handle his personal problems…all the time.
What you need is someone that can handle himself without your input. People in relationships are meant to support each other. In a case where one person does literally everything without input from the other party, it isn’t always healthy.
A man who splits the bills
There will be times you’d be a little generous and foot the bills when you go out to a fancy diner. But you’d feel more receptive knowing that your man can handle himself. Men who are traditional in nature would want to take care of the bills themselves.
But we live in a society that has tilted towards equality. Finding a man who wants to split the bill shouldn’t be a problem.
A man who surprises you with presents
This is the part where several men get it wrong. They make little effort to surprise their successful partners. The usual assumption is that “My partner has everything. What more can I give her?”. And so, during special celebrations when she’d expect a present from her man, she gets nothing.
Men who go out of their way to surprise are real keepers. Going out of their way doesn’t have to mean expensive. A man who is creative will work his way around that constraint. Besides, the thoughts and intentions behind every gift are even more important than the gift itself.
4. A properly groomed man
The first thing every woman looks out for in a man is the way he presents himself. His appearance, looks, pose, and demeanor can influence your perception of him. You don’t want a man who is shabbily dressed with dirty nails and untrimmed beards.
You’d want to take one look at him and feel confident and proud of him. If you’d have to look good as part of life, you deserve nothing less in a man who’s interested in you.
A man who’s got style
A man with a good sense of style is every woman’s fancy. Fashion designer, Dora Goold says this to men. “Women love a man that pays attention to the details of an outfit, so when you have a slick piece of wrist wear, we like it. A decent watch will give you a suave edge, especially when paired with a suit or trouser outfit. A man should always have a good watch as it’s an accessory that gives women a little insight into who you are.”
You should look out for men oozing with style and class.
A man who makes decisions too
There are men that relinquish decision-making for the women in their lives. The assumption is that successful women can easily take the lead in relationships. While that may be true, no one should make all the decisions in a relationship. It may seem like the best thing to do, but it is manipulative in nature.
People in a relationship must communicate their opinions and ideas. That way, everyone is cool with whatever decision that is made.
A man who supports your success
A man who supports your achievements and success on the career front is very important. Men who are intimidated by your giant strides will make you feel less. What you need is a man who will celebrate your success, show up for important events, and make you feel like a billion bucks. You’d feel like you face the world head-on knowing a man is right by your side.
Successful women deserve to be loved, taken care of, and doted on. You need to trust your gut and take note of the signs when a man comes around.
