10 Tiny But Lovely Romantic Gestures to Get You Relationship Brownie Points
One of the most sought after answers among humans is how to keep the spark alive in a relationship. Half of all marriages still end in divorce, so the answer to this question is just as prominent as it's always been. If you talk to anyone in a happy marriage, they'll tell you it is all about the tiny but lovely romantic gestures.
You spend all this time at the start of a relationship trying to get to know the person you are with. Even if you have spent your entire lives together as friends, when you decide to make it official, you still have to get to know this person on an intimate level.
The happiest relationships are those where you can tell both parties invested most of their time and energy into the relationship.
When you listen to your partner and remember things you've talked about, you can bring them up later in conversations to show your partner how much you care. The same goes for getting to know your significant other on an intimate level. When you know what makes your partner tick, you can do little things to surprise him and make his day.
The key to a happy relationship or marriage is for both individuals in the relationship to remain individuals while simultaneously coming together and putting in the effort to have fun together. Life is too stressful as it is; your relationship shouldn't be.
What Science Says About Love
According to a study recently published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, Americans have derived a general consensus on what constitutes a happy relationship. The study found that most people resonate with small, thoughtful gestures rather than monumental declarations of love.
The study also found that different belief systems didn't sway the results one way or another. Generally speaking, everyone agreed upon these terms of what made them feel loved.
Subsequently, it is the action of the small gesture that made the person feel loved. In other words, people would rather see and feel love through snuggling or doing things like cleaning the house than to hear you say the words, "I love you."
According to a Penn State News Release, most people were in agreement as well with what actions don't constitute as a loving gesture. Possessive and controlling behaviors are that of which most people do not think of as loving gestures.
The news release goes on to suggest no one enters a relationship under the pretense that the other person acts, thinks, and speaks exactly the same way you do. Relationships are about loving the individual because of who they are and creating a life together, rather than loving someone because you think you can change them to be more like you.
Loving an individual is exciting, too, because it allows you to be more creative when thinking of what small gesture your partner will appreciate the most. If nothing else, you two can make it a game to see which person seems to know the other person the best!
It can be tough coming up with new and interesting gestures, though. Below are the top ten tiny but lovely romantic gestures that are sure to get you relationship brownie points:
1. Bring Home a Potted Plant
This one is for the partner that enjoys receiving flowers. Simply put:
Why buy your partner flowers that are dying in a vase when you can buy flowers that will continue to grow?
In a way, it symbolically represents the continued growth of your relationship as well. Because as the vase-flowers seem to say, "If you aren't growing, you're dead."
2. Learn Each Other's Love Language
If you aren't on the Love Language Train yet, now's the time to hop on! Marriage counselor, Dr. Gary Chapman, created the book 5 Love Languages, which has topped the Bestsellers chart since 2007.
He states that the idea is relatively simple; different people have different personalities and accept, give, and preserve love in different ways.
The Five Love Languages are:
- Words of Affirmation
- Acts of Service
- Receiving Gifts
- Quality Time
- Physical Touch
You can click the link above for more information into what these five Love Languages represent and what order your Love Languages fall in.
It is important to note that everyone ranks one through five on the Love Languages. Typically, it is the number one and number two spots that mean the most to us. It is these top two Love Languages that we wish to be shown by our partner.
For example:
Let's say your top two Love Languages are Acts of Service and Quality Time, and your partner's are Receiving Gifts and Physical Touch. This means that your partner receives and comprehends love mainly through intimate physical touch and receiving gifts.
Receiving gifts might be number five on your list. However, if it is number two for your partner, you are going to have to surprise him with presents sometimes for them to feel loved by you.
Too many couples make the mistake of assuming their partner expresses, receives, and comprehends love the same way they do. In most circumstances, this is not the case. It is vital to the happiness of your partner and the quality of your relationship that you not only know each other's top Love Languages, but you consciously act on them.
Once you figure out this step, you can tailor your small gestures accordingly to how your partner will best receive them.
3. Plan a Trip
Sometimes a getaway trip is the best medicine. Circumstances might keep you two from flying to where you would like to go, but you can still take a small road trip somewhere for a weekend. Time away from everyday life can help clear your minds and restore that pure loving energy between you two.
Maybe you don't have the money or time to take a trip at the moment. You can still take the time to plan a trip together. Then, you can set-up short-term goals to help you two achieve your dream of taking a trip.
Have fun with it! Write out your goals or paint them on poster board and hang it on the wall. You can mark down every time you get one step closer to your trip. Doing this will get your both excited and bring you closer to one another with each step toward your end goal.
4. Keep Communication Open
For small gestures to truly help your relationship thrive, you must have open communication with your partner.
This isn't just a one-time thing either. Open communication throughout the entirety of the relationship is what sets healthy, strong, and long-lasting relationships apart from those that do not last.
When communication is open, you learn more about each other and naturally become comfortable in the relationship. Comfortability is good in relationships because it creates a space for love and understanding that is free of judgment.
5. Show Your Support
The person you are with most likely has interests that are different from yours. When you take the time to listen to him talk about his favorite things or to do things that he enjoys, it shows him that he is special to you.
This is especially true if he knows you don't particularly like the activity, but you do it anyway because you know how much he enjoys it.
6. Give Unexpected Gifts
Just because it is a random Tuesday doesn't mean your significant other doesn't deserve a present! This is especially true for those of you who have Receiving Gifts as your number one or number two love language.
Maybe you are out and about running errands and picking up groceries when you see something you know your significant other would appreciate. It can be something as small as his favorite snack or drink that you don't normally buy. Bring it home, ask him to help you put the groceries away, and make sure he opens the bag with his gift.
He will appreciate the kind gesture as well as the surprise. It will let him know that you were thinking of him while you were away.
7. Show Affection Without Expectations
This one is crucial! Giving without expectation is the secret to all happiness in a relationship, beyond simply showing affection. No matter what gestures you do for your partner, do so without the hope or expectation of a thank you. When you do something just because you love the person, it makes both of you feel better in the end.
Showing affection is multi-faceted. It can also show itself in the form of any of the five Love Languages. The point is to do so without expectations to receive the benefits that small gestures hold.
8. Watch a Show Together
Binge-watching episodes on Netflix and Hulu have become the new trip to the movies. That said, there is something to be said for those random nights when you feel like taking your significant other out to a real movie theater or to a drive-in.
For those rainy days when you are both stuck at home, starting a new series together can be just the romantic kick you need to weather the storm.
9. Do Things Without Being Asked
We all have our corks in this life — things that make us tick and the things that push our buttons. When you are in a relationship, you begin to understand these things about your significant other.
Perhaps, your partner loves to have a warm towel when he or she gets out of the shower (Who doesn't, really?). If you take the time to throw the towel in the dryer while he showers, it'll be warm for him by the time the water turns off. He is sure to appreciate the gesture in more ways than one.
10. Even Leftover Night Can Be Romantic
It doesn't matter if you two are too broke to enjoy a night out on the town, you can still make a night at home romantic. Yes, even if it is leftover night. There is nothing that a few lit candles and a bottle of wine won't fix!
At the end of the day, for those partners that enjoy Quality Time and Acts of Service, this one is for you!
5 Things Real Couples Suggest
Below are five real-life examples of how couples are actively incorporating the power of tiny romantic gestures into their relationship. Let these examples showcase how unique and creative you can be with your gestures. In fact, the more unique and specific you can make your gestures to your relationship, the better.
1. Maellesgirl
"I wake up early. My wife does not. Saturday mornings, the dog and I leave the house early to let my wife sleep in. Every Saturday, I clean out the garbage from her car, organize her trunk, and return her library books. The dog and I grab a coffee, go to the park, and by the time we get home, she's awake and missing us."
2. D4ea205bf0
"My husband plays guitar, and whenever he plays his electric one, he makes it sound like a wolf whistle when I walk by. Obnoxious? A little. Does it make me feel good and laugh? Absolutely."
3. Vanessajoyk
"If I'm feeling anxious, he ALWAYS knows because I'll be quieter than usual. He'll walk into whichever room I'm in, hug me (one of those nice, long comforting hug-squeezes) because he knows they make me feel safe and go, "Don't worry. You're okay." And that just fills me with such love for the guy. It can be tough to have a partner with anxiety, and I love that he knows exactly how to handle it."
4. Mbpanda
"Not completely free, but every once in a while, we mail cards to each other completely randomly. Even though we've lived together for seven years and see each other every day, sometimes I'll pick up a funny card (or postcard) when I'm grocery shopping and mail it from the post office. Getting mail (that's not a bill!) is exciting, especially randomly from your significant other for no other reason than a fun surprise. Makes both of us smile and feel loved every single time!"
5. Beachbrat72
"My Mr. is bald. Not everyone is stoked to be bald like the Rock. I love it and make sure I gently kiss the top of his head daily. Small, simple, but it lets him know that he is desirable. Yes. Even dudes want to be desired."
Love is a two-way street. The power of small gestures cannot be felt if both partners aren't putting in the effort required. Have the conversations, they are important. Talk about how you can incorporate small romantic gestures of love, but most importantly, act on it.
When you both commit to this type of relationship, it has the power to strengthen your relationship tenfold.
